“I have come that they may have life and have it more abundantly” JOHN 10:10
I spent a long time doing anything I could to make myself smaller. I thought hiding would make my problems disappear. I did not try new things or experience life because I was afraid of living.
One of the more challenging but rewarding aspects of recovery is finding new things, reclaiming things that you have given up and filling all of that “eating disorder time” with healthy and meaningful stuff.
One of my favorite things of all times is playing soccer. I love everything about it. I was the kid that would run and slosh around in the mud, rain, snow, anything. I searched and found an adult league. ME== reached out to someone else! I have been playing on two teams one is a coed team and the other a women’s team. I have realized how my legs feel so free. I am kicking the ball, running on the field and in my space.
I ran all the time while I deep in the eating disorder. I ran without a purpose. I ran to get away from him. It was my alone time. I do not need to do that anymore. I did it to escape. It was the only time that I could forget about everything and completely clear my mind. There are so many better ways to do that!
THIS WAS DIFFERENT I got dressed in my soccer gear with long socks and shin guards and looked at my legs and had a HUGE SMILE on my face. I PRAISED GOD for my body and the legs he gave me to play soccer. My body has survived the damage from the eating disorder and abuse. I am able to compete, play, and run. I can do these things because I want to and they are fun. Obtaining a HEALTHY Body image is a hard part of recovery. I honestly thought that I would get to a point where I tolerated my body. But reaching a point where I love and am proud is so incredibly freeing.
A new step forward. It is appreciating the many things we are here for, our purpose and what we can actually do. God wants life and a full life. I am amazed at the ways He is bringing life into my life now that there is so much room!
Leave a Reply