In my personal experience, I had a love-hate relationship with the nutritional meal planning and my dietitian. At first, I was completely against seeing a dietitian. I was ashamed of the fact that I was a dietitian and was so stuck in my eating disorder. More so, I was a dietitian and had an eating disorder! I was embarrassed and proud. I did not want anyone taking anything from me. I also thought that I should be able to do the right thing because I was a dietitian. Emotions remove our ability to think objectively. I personally knew what I was supposed to do. I would sit around and write the perfect meal plan for myself. I wanted to get better but I had trouble applying the knowledge to myself. I knew what was happening to my body on a medical, metabolic, and physiological level but my mind was controlled by the disorder and unable to separate my wise mind from the eating disorder. The distortions and eating disorder were in control. I had not made the connection that I was using the eating disorder to regulate a chaotic world. I needed to give up control and let someone else do it for me.
“I needed to give up control and let someone else do it for me”.
The eating disorder takes the “I should know better” and replaces it with disordered thoughts and false beliefs and jumbles them together. The thoughts begin to cycle through and take place over everything else. I was convinced that despite my knowledge, my ability to counsel others, and to be a good dietitian in the community “that the rules did not apply to me”.
I knew that at some point in my life I would be in a place to help those suffering from eating disorders. If I wanted to meet this goal I had to swallow my pride and accept expert help. I knew that God would use my story to one day help others. Until I could relinquish my control and realize that the rules applied to me I remained in the same position—stuck. The first time I saw a dietitian was when I was in the hospital. I found that the meal plan she gave me provided relief. Yes, I was terrified at the thought of eating everything she told me, but at this point it was not my responsibility. She provided a guide for me to follow. I found that I could trust the process.
A meal plan serves many purposes. Most meal plans are based on an exchange system. The plan and exchanges are calculated to meet your individual needs. Usually it will have three meals and three snacks. In many cases, you would be responsible for selecting meals and snacks in accordance with your meal plan. In early recovery, specific food lists might be used. If you are underweight, your meal plan will match your current caloric intake and will periodically increase to encourage weight restoration. If you are not underweight, you will have a maintenance meal plan intended to normalize eating behaviors. A benefit of this approach is your needs are already counted and you do not have to think about food. You can focus on recovery. Meal plans provide structure, normalization of eating patterns; help to establish hunger and fullness cues, and helps you learn to trust the eating process again. It is the first step towards intuitive eating.
