HopeintheMess

Tag: coping

  • Recovery- people might not tell you this

     

    An eating disorder is painfully lonely.  The truth is that no matter how much anyone tells you the truth, you will not believe it until you are on the other side.  The eating disorder has two things working on its side 1) the brain-based a genetic process.  Let’s look at an individual with anorexia nervosa.  When someone weighs less than her (or his) biologically appropriate weight, cognitive process declines.  You can try to convince her that the earth is round, but if she believes it is flat, then damn it…. The earth is flat in her world.  Eating disorders actually change the brain to a certain point and the only thing that repairs this damage is food.  2).  The maladaptive coping strategies work very effectively to circumvent whatever it is that the person is trying to not deal with.  Yes, this is true.  Eating disorders are a complex biopsychosocial illness.  We have to heal the body and mind in order to heal the person.  We cannot do this without food and then dealing with the emotions and learning to effectively cope in the world.

    When you start recovery, it may feel wrong.  In fact, it will feel wrong.  This is something that you should talk about.  The reason it feels wrong is because the illness has placed so much emphasis on your weight, whether or not you ate, ran, counted your calories, your will-power.  It has been exhausting.  Sitting still and just being may feel wrong but it is ok and it is good.  I understand how sitting still and eating makes you want to cry- but that does not last.  It may feel wrong but it is not wrong.  You will get to a point where it feels right and you will enjoy it again.  I promise.  The only thing the disorder can promise is a stronghold, death, control.  Breaking free promises life.  While that may sound scary—it does not have to be all at once. 

    God does not give more than you can handle.  That is a promise!      

    2Chronicles 15:7

    But you, take courage! Do not let your hands be weak, for your work shall be rewarded.”

  • Sincere

    An eating disorder makes it very difficult to be authentic.  I do not have any honest relationships right now because I am afraid to let them know about the flaws.  If I let the walls down then the world will see that the façade we paint is not what it seems.  My behaviors allow me to pretend that everything is ok while I am secretly crying out for help.  Can I really use my voice?  Sure… Is that scary?  Absolutely!
    Remember that eating disorders are not about food and weight.  Weight is only a symptom of the real issue.  My thinness was a symptom of my inability to express my feelings, my loneliness, and how my marriage seems to be falling apart.
    The truth is that it is still a struggle because I still feel this way.  I was not prepared for the part of recovery where it looks like you are ok…..but feeling terrible inside.  I have told my therapist that I feel like an anorexic stuck in a healthy-recovered body.
    I still feel all of those things that made me want to use the eating disorder.  The trouble is that I am not supposed to use it and I am not using it.  The ED is so destructive and will not allow me to meet my goals; however, it seemed to get me through the day.  I am learning new skills to do the same.  I am learning to use my VOICE and say that I am hurting and not do this through my eating disorder.
    But…….. I have to make that choice.  I choose to deal with the anxiety of NOT choosing the eating disorder to cope.  I will work on ACCEPTING and LIKEING the REAL me one layer at a time.  It is a work in progress.  I know it will take time but it is worth it.  I have my life and two little lives waiting for me.
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  • Temptations

     

    Trials and Temptations
    2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything
    James 1:2-4

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    The eating disorder (ED) voice is nasty.    The ED will say to restrict, exercise, purge, weigh, compare and basically self-destruct.  Treatment aims at developing new coping skills that are not self-destructive.

    I thought that developing new coping skills and denying the urge to engage in my eating disorder would be too hard.  In reality, the eating disorder was very good at preventing me from feeling pain.  I not only learned that coping skills are necessary but also understanding that temptations are normal.  Scripture tells us that God WILL provide a way out.

    1 Corinthians 10:13 No temptation[a] has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted[b] beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted,[c] he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.

    You do not have to feel guilty or embarrassed.  Reach out to God.  Tell him about your struggles– after all, HE already know!

     

    Read this from Mathew 4:1-11
    Jesus Is Tested in the Wilderness
    4 Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted[a] by the devil. 2 After fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry. 3 The tempter came to him and said, “If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread.”
    4 Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’[b]”
    5 Then the devil took him to the holy city and had him stand on the highest point of the temple. 6 “If you are the Son of God,” he said, “throw yourself down. For it is written:

    “‘He will command his angels concerning you,
    and they will lift you up in their hands,
    so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.’[c]”
    7 Jesus answered him, “It is also written: ‘Do not put the Lord your God to the test.’[d]”
    8 Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor. 9 “All this I will give you,” he said, “if you will bow down and worship me.”
    10 Jesus said to him, “Away from me, Satan! For it is written: ‘Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only.’[e]”

     

     

     

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    Trust in the Lord!