HopeintheMess

Tag: self-love

  • Independence Day

     

    We had a wonderful time celebrating the Fourth Of July.  We went to a festival in the mountains where my parents just built a house.  Several years ago, the thought of going to any celebration sent me waves of panic.  What about the food? What about the exercise I may miss? I cannot wear a bathing suit??!!  I missed out on these opportunities because I was so entrenched in the eating disorder that I was unable to have fun.  On this Independence Day, I am so thankful that I declared independence from the eating disorder. 

     

     

    I spent all my time thinking about food, calories, exercise, and how much I hated my body (really myself).  I did not think that I could be so incredibly happy and carefree.  On this day, I wore a bathing suit as I walked around the outdoor area.  I slid down the bouncy house water slide with my children.  I laughed, joked, and played games.  These things are hard to do when the eating disorder is in control. 

     

    My now healthy body and mind could walk around with pride on this day.  I am so thankful for my chance at recovery and thankful that I took the plunge.    

     

  • Dancing in front of the Mirror

    When I walked by my daughter’s room this morning she was standing in front of the mirror dancing– in her underwear.  She was singing songs and appeared so very joyful.  I stood in the doorway where she could not see me and watched her for a few minutes.  She demonstrated so much innocence.
    She was carefree.
    She sang “Jesus Loves Me” and twirled circles. 
    She did not say anything negative about her appearance or herself.  She was so happy to be singing in the Lord’s presence and His precious child.
    She was actually not even really paying attention to her body. She was watching the twirls and the smile. I was filled with joy as I watched her being so filled with JOY!!
    One thing that I have worked very hard to do is demonstrate self-love, acceptance, and that beauty comes from within.  When she was really little I would play with her in front of the mirror and sing
    “I look in the mirror and what do I see… A beautiful wonderful me”
    In this moment I was envious- I want this carefree attitude for myself and so many others that I know.  I also prayed that this feeling inside her will last.  When will someone tell her that she is not beautiful? Worse yet, will she believe it?   
    When she saw that I was watching she paused and giggled.  She acted like she was a little embarrassed.
    I said…..
    I love how happy you are right now. I told her to never be afraid to dance and smile. I told her to always smile when she sees herself. I told her that laughter and joy in her heart is one of the many things that make her so special. I want to constantly remind myself of the little girl that danced in front of the mirror.
    I will continue telling her that the inside counts more.  I will always tell her that she is beautiful and created in God’s image.
    Let’s all show some self-love and dance in front of the mirror. 
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